Once, again, I  find that I have fell behind on the blog.  It has been almost 2 weeks since I posted anything.  It has also been a very busy 2 weeks.  Let's see..Where do I begin?

The first week of school went well for Sammy.  He came home talking about his day.  He has had a Thumb's up day every day so far.  He did come close to losing that one day due to his stubborn nature.  He is learning to write his name and was using a crayon. The teacher told him to put the crayons up and use a pencil. My stubborn lil boy refused until the teacher threatened to pull a light.  He didn't get his light pulled but he came close.  He still doesn't like using a pencil.  He say's its too hard. He will learn.   He has had homework sent hom twice and bucked and argued with me about doing it.  I stand firm on the rule about homework though.  If he does not get it done then it gets sent back to the teacher with a note that he refused to do it.  He will pay the consequences of his actions.  I refuse to do his homework, especially since I know he can do it. The first homework sheet was a color sheet.  They are learning to recognize  colors and the words that spell the colors.  His was blue and red, He had to color the sections according to the word.   The last one is a worksheet of writing. He has to learn to write his name.  He traced his name one time and then told me it was to hard he needed help.  He has until tomorrow to finish it and turn it in.  Which means there will be no TV tonight until its done because he has Flag football practice tonight at 6:00.

Chopper has been down in Fla, Ga and Al  since last Monday.   He has been working Tropical Storm Fay.  He is now on his way home but if the weather channel is correct they will be leaving out again sometime next week to work Huricane Gustov.  The kids and I miss him when he is away.  Its not so bad when he's only gone 4 days and then  home for the weekend.  but this has been a little different.  I know he is working to help others and If it were me I would want my power back on, but we miss him.  I get nervous especially when he calls me and asks me if I left anything in his laundry bag because he has found a pair that are definately not his, when his laundry came back from the cleaners.    GRR.. makes me want to knock some body flat.   This happens quite often.  Why do woman think they have to hit on married men?  Of course with his job he doesn't wear a wedding band so perhaps thats why. It still aggravates me though.  I trust him so  its all ok we laugh about it and move on. 

Sean started his first day of school yesterday, and according to the teachers, he had a good day and was well behaved.   He was a little upset because they couldn't play on the playground, but that will happen soon. The playground is under construction currently.  He did not go to school today because they bring them half of the class in at a time, but he will go back tomorrow.   Tomorrow  the entire class of 18 or 20 students will be in attendance so we will see how well he does tomorrow.  

The house was very quiet.  BB and I had errands to run for several hours after we dropped the boys off at school. (Sammy missed the bus.)  We finally got home a little after 10:00 am and she promptly fell asleep and slept until almost 2:00 pm.  Since we have to pick Sean up between 2:30 and 3:00 the day was rather quiet and serene here at my house.    She misses her bro's though.   She got very excited when I told her we were going to pick up  Sean. 

I am rather enjoying the quiet at the house. After 5 years of cartoons blaring even if they are not being watched it has been fun to sit on the floor and play with BB or get housework done without someome hollering Mommy, I'm hungry.  Mommy I'm thirsty. Mommy he hit me!!!.  Now don't get me wrong I love my kids, but I have enjoyed the peace and quiet of school days too.

Next summer should be interesting though. There will be 4 children needing my attention.  OH well,  I keep reminding myself God will not give me more than I can handle.

BB's birthday is saturday.  I am still trying to find the ingredients to make her a cake.  I did find a recipe, but  now I have to find the specific things required.  I am not sure what we are going to do.  We may just have a small family get together since she can't eat certain foods.  I don't know. We will do something fun and make it a special day for her I am sure. 

I think that has caught us up now. 

AWWW!!  We are through day 2 of school for Sammy and everyone is sleeping peacefully in there beds.  All except for mom.   I simply cannot sleep.  My mind is racing with so many unasked and unanswered guestons about my little boys day at school.  I ask him and get the typical response... ERRR,, I can't remember but then later on a lil more about his day will come out.  He seems to be enjoying himself and even talked yesterday of playing firefighters and pirates with some friends at school.  (The playground has a huge ship with slides and things on it.  Apparantly it has a telescope too.) 

Perhaps all of my fear is simply the fact that this is all new too me  or maybe the fact that I wasn't all together comfortable with his teacher on Meet the Teacher night.  Maybe she meant nothing by it at all, and it was close to 8:00 pm but I was the last parent in the classroom waiting to talk to her.   We may have talked  all of 2 or 3 minutes.  Enough time for me to tell her  that Sammy tends to be a lil bossy and to let me know if she needed anything. (which really seemed to be to get an eyeroll.)  She never asked me my name, Hello how are you doing? anything.  Basically all I got from this woman was a nod and an I'll walk you  to the front.  Then she takes off and leaves me trailing behind her carrying BB, pushing her stroller and herding my boys out the door.  When we got to the front she did tell Sammy she would see him on Wednesday.  Needless to say I left rather frustrated. 

I don't know perhaps its just the hormones and I am overreacting, but  this is MY child  I am placing in her care.  My child  she is supposed to teach. She is the one supervising his play time, his meals, his snacks, his naptimes.  The one who is teaching him.  Shouldn't I at least have been able to get a feel for this woman?    Yes she sent home a questionare form to fill out telling us about her and her family and asking about Sammy's like's dislikes  and about his family.  I guess I just felt like she pushed me out the door.  With this being  his first time away from me for such long periods of time on a regular basis  I feel like something is not right with my world.

I think this hit me today when I loaded up the 2 younger children and went to pick up Chopper.  Sammy is usually the first one out the door. He opens the door for Seanie boy.  He is the talkative one(like his mamma).   We had to go into the mall today to see about getting Chopper's phone fixed and  Sean wanted to ride the Carousel they have inside the mall. Since it was taking forever  I took him and BB and we rode. (Just when I need a camera!)  It seemed so weird not having Sammy with us. Almost like part of the family was missing (which is guess is accurate).  Then as we walked out of the mall Chopper was carrying BB and  Sean was holding his hand.  I'm pushing an empty stroller and not seeing the familiar little brown head that is usually right beside me helping me push.  Guess just plain and simple I miss having my Lil boy with  me all day.   Crazy???  Someone please Tell me I'm not going Crazy!!  Chopper keeps telling me  I'm just being a mom.  Me  I'm not so sure.   I am worried he isn't making friends. worried he's being picked on,  and teased.  worried he is perhaps bullying other kids around, or being bullyied himself.   I miss seeing him run and play outside.  I miss hearing him scream and holler and fuss at his bro.  I miss hearing his lil voice saying Mommy, I'm hungry. Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into triangles?  Then hearing him say Mommy, I'll get the jelly for ya.  

Oh I didn't realize it was going to be so hard.  I have to do this all over again on the 25th with Sean.  It's gonna be even harder with him because  I have to take him to preschool and drop  him off and he is rather shy.  It really takes him a while to warm up too you and  become comfortable.  He's always had Sammy with him before so Sammy acted as a buffer and a security blanket for him. 

I know  I know.  This is all part of letting go and letting them grow up but why's it have to be so hard??  Why can't I keep them little and in my arms?  AWW  I still have to do this all over again in  4 more years and then again in 6 yrs.  I guess this is what I get for being a stay at home mom.  BUT  I would NOT change it.  I have loved being at home with my kids.  Perhaps that's why this is so hard for me.  I've always been the one feeding them and tieing there shoes and making sure they go potty and wash their hands.  That's supposed to be my JOB.  Not a total stranger!

Maybe I'm a control freak.  I worry about them so much.  I put them in God's hands but still want to pull them back and tote them around in my own and try to take care of them myself.  Some  Christian I am.  Instead of trusing God to take care of and keep them safe.  I seem to think that in some finite way  I can do that on my own.   OH Lord, Please forgive me!!!  help me  become stronger and learn to trust you more.  Give me the peace I so desperately need to have.  Show me how to handle each situation with dignity and Grace and to glorify your name no matter what comes.

Ok  I feel much better now.  I got that all out and vented and can breathe again.  Chopper kept asking me what was wrong but then everytime I'd try to tell him.. I'd start crying again.   OK  it's gotta be the hormones and the stress of everything thats going on.  I did the same thing last Thursday night.  How do I make him understand that though?     OH  but I really want a huge chocolate candy bar.  Sadly I bought 2 today and cannot eat either one of them because  they contain Milk. 

I feel guilty about that too.   I loved holding BB and nursing her.  That was our time together.  Now I can't stand for her to latch on.  I want to push her away every time she does.  I want my body back for my own for a while before I have to give it away to another baby.  I feel so guilty because she is so innocent and precious.  She can't help it.  She's gotta have milk. She can't drink water and juice all day.  Her dr's office called today while I was gone.   Maybe they have good news for me.  I'll call them back sometime tomorrow.  I have to go to court because I got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago.  Thats adding to a lot of the stress.

I have never been so tempted to spend $85  before in my life.  I don't usually take the time to care for me.  I rush through everything to care for my kids and chopper. (I know  thats not what I should be doing but I do it anyway.)  Anyway, while we were at the mall this woman approached me from one of the Kiosk centers in the middle of the mall. She asked to see my hands and nails.  When I showed them to her she got excited and ask if she could show me something.  I said Ok a little apprehensively.  I thought it would be some kind of lotion or jewelry or something.    It turned out to be a home manicure set, (nails and toenails).  She took this little square  file and buffed one nail with all 3 sides.  When she was finished my nail was so shiny it looked like I had just walked out of a salon.  Supposedly they use all natural ingredients from the Dead Sea.  I don't know. I do know it was  wonderful and I would have loved to have purchased the kit and brought it home to do the rest of my nails.   It was so guick and so easy.  She offered it too me at a way discounted price when she found out I had 3 kids and another on the way.  It it hadn't a been for that stupid ticket I would have done it too.  Chopper even said he would not have blamed me. The buffer supposedly had a 5 yr guarantee on it. (yea I know it prolly doesn't but.. hey) 

It is very rarely that I do buy or purchase anything for myself and honestly if it wasn't for the fact that we have bills on top of this ticket  I would have done it.  LOL Although I did say that when we got caught up and I could come up with the money I was going back to purchase it.  Chopper said Ok and kind of grinned and rolled his eyes at me.  (hey, he buys computer stuff, why can't I  purchase things that make me feel pretty? even if I not all that pretty after 3 kids.)

Anyway's  Ive vented and feel so  relieved and refreshed and exhausted.  I think I'll be able to sleep now.  Thanks for reading and laughing or whatever you are doing at this point.  God Bless YOU all! 

Oh My  Where has the time gone?? Today was my oldest boys first day of school.   Oh how I have been dreading this day. I know it must come and is for his own good  but it was so hard to let him go today.

My morning started at with a phone call from my sweet husband.  I had asked him to call and make sure we were up  in case the alarm clock went fluey again.  Of course the clock had not but it's a good thing he called.  I had set the clock for 5:30 am  in order to give us an hour and 45 mins.  He called at 6:15 and since I had deliberately left the phone on the hook in the other room.  I had to get up and walk too get the phone. (I am NOT a morning person, perhaps because I stay on here most of the night???)

Well,  talking to him naturally made my day start better and put me in a much better frame of mind.    I think this is going to become a habit. ( I hope. after all who wouldn't want to be woken up by the man they love??)  Anyway, enought mushy gushy stuff.  

I got up and started getting myself dressed, since BB was already in my bed, she began too do the lazy morning wake up routine.  (You know the one where you stretch, roll over and open your eyes only to close them back again cause the light is so bright and then blink to adjust.)  Anyway,  she didn't  wake up in a very good mood.  She is usually my chipper happy go lucky morning person.  She woke up fussy and crying.  I picked her up and hugged her and carried her in to wake up her bros.  Well that woke her up and put her in a better mood.  She absolutely adores her bros.  The first thing she wanted to do was attack Sammy. Which was perfect because he was smiling under his blanket (meaning a good mood) and he loves to play with his lil sis.   I set her up on his bed (staying near so she wouldn't fall) and began talking to the boys.  So  they all woke up in a good mood and the day started out GREAT!!

We then began the getting dressed routine.  That  usually takes a lil while.  After all there are 3 of them and only 1 of me.  The boys help dress themselves so it's getting easier and easier.  Still have the usual Mommy, I can't button this.   Mommy I can't get this on.  or Mommy I can't tie my shoes.  But hey, there learning.

Well, I got them all ready (well honestly I left Seanie and BB in PJ's but only cause we had to come home and get ready to go and I was in no hurry.)  Tomorrow morning  they will all be dressed before we go to the bus stop.  On August 25  Seanie starts preschool and I have to drive him  and since I will be following the bus, we will have to be dressed when we go out.

We all ate a pop tart and some apple juice ( wanted choclate milk but I am out of chocolate).  I even had time to take my meds and wait  the allotted 30 mins before eating.  Wow!!! That is not usual.. but then we have tended to sleep until one woke another one up so no surprise there.  Since we usualy just stayed at home  I saw no reason to wake them up early.  It just makes them cranky  around lunch.  I knew school would start soon enough and we would HAVE to have a schedule.  (I know  once again  slack on my part, but Hey it worked for us.)  I even managed to sneak in a few guick picturs of him ready for his first day of school.  (I'll try to load them one day, when I figure it all out.)

Well, finally it was time to head to the bus stop.  We  loaded up and drove the guick trip to the end of the road.  Sammy excitedly talking the whole way.  telling me what he was going to do that day. etc.  We got there around 7:10  the bus finally arrived around 7:20 but hey it's the first day of school, no big deal. 

My nieces were parked in front of us, (they are the only 3 at this stop)  They see the bus before  I do and get out and excitedly wave to Sammy to come on.  Mommy being mommy and the first day of school made him wait. I wanted to walk him to the bus and introduce him to the bus driver and make sure he was going to be alright. (yea yea I know!!!  Overprotective, but hey he's my baby!!)

Well,  all was going great.  I had NOT cried or even hinted at crying the first time.  UNTIL... I pulled the van up too turn around and saw the bus driving away with my precios baby on the front seat.    That did it.  I was almost in tears.  I managed to hold them in bay though.  (yea me!!) We drove home and as we are pulling into our driveway. Seanie who was sitting in the front seat beside me.  (The bus picks up at the end of our circular drive and its only a few neighbors on the road so this is safe.)  began to cry.  He said mommy, I miss my bro.  When is he coming home?  He went on the school bus.  I want to go too.  Oh boy.. here come more waterworks I have to hold at bay so not to scare the poor kids. 

I tell him he gets too start school in 2 weeks and then he will get too go to school but Bubba has to start today cause he's a big boy now. (sniffle, sniffle)  He accepts this and goes on into the house.  Where the cartoons are turned on and he is soon settled down guiet as a mouse. 

Typical day of running here and there. although I did notice a remarkedly different air around the house and activities today. There was no screaming and hollering and fussing between the 2 boys. A few lil scrabbles with Sean and BB but that will fix itself in time. (once she gets big enough to knock the snot out of him.)    He is really a great, sweet kid.  He is struggling with  middle child syndrome so the next few weeks will be good for him.  He gets too be the big bro now.  (Sammy is very adamant that He is the big bro.  We are struggling to help him see that Seanie is also a big boy and bro.)

Well 3:55 gets here, since I know last year the bus dropped off at 4:15 and I was never given any time schedule  we loaded up and went to the bus stop.  We ended up sitting there until 4:30  but that was ok.  The kids were occupied and happily listening for the sound of the bus.  Finally I see it coming.  My heart skips a lil cause finally my boy is back safe with me.     I want to jump out of that van and run up too the bus door.  I get out of the van but managed to contain myself until the bus stopped and the door was open.  OH JOY OF JOYS!! My baby boy is gettig off the bus.  With a HUGE smile on his face. In tact, no scratches, scrapes, bruises or boo boo's.    Thank You Lord for bringing my baby home safe!! 

He is full of news about his day and since it was the first day back for all 3 of them my nieces were as well.  I load them all into the van (my sis in law was still at work) and took the girls too their house.  Talking the whole way.  (my nieces are 15 and almost 7 so the older one keeps an eye on the younger til mom gets home. They are really great girls.   There is also a nephew the same age as Sean (6wks younger).  He is guite a handful but he goes to daycare just now) 

All is right with my world now,  Sammy is home and had a "Thumbs Up!!" day meaning he was well behaved and  got a stamp on his thumb and a Hershey's chocolate kiss from his teacher.    That good behavior lasted all of about 30 mins after getting home  but hey  the day with the teacher was good.  I would rather deal with the bad behavior than her have too put up with it.  (selfish I know but it makes mom and dad look good when the kids behave for strangers.)  (bad mommy thought, bad mommy thought.) 

Anyway, I figure the crankyness which caused the bad behavior was from being tired and hungry.  We fixed the hungry part but then it was time to get ready for church.  (UM yea I think we'll not even go there.  It was almost not worth going other than the fact that they have to learn to sit and behave at church.  that will come I know) I really cannot remember the last service I have sat through and heard a whole serman.  It comes with the mom teritory though.  One day they will be all grown and gone and  I will miss these days.   

They are now in bed and sleeping,  for a change  he was so tired I didn't have to go in there at all and warn him to settle down and go to sleep.  They are all sleeping soundly and  I think that is where I will go too.  I have a house to clean and prepare for a home visit from Sean's teachers.  (that makes me nervous but it goes with the territory of the goverment run program he is enrolled in.  I know they are checking on the childrens well being and safety but.. umm yea..It would have been nice to have known about this a few weeks ago.)  Thus ended our first day of school ever for my lil boy.  A once in a lifetime experience for grade school.  I pray God grants him many more once in a lifetime moments and the grace and strength to deal with each one as a strong Christian man of God.

In response to Hannah's comment  here is a list of the things we can eat..

1) grits- no butter

2)oatmeal-no milk or butter

3)rice-no butter

4)potatoes-no butter or milk

5)  steamed vegetables

6) some breads (reading labels very carefully, thankfully the bread I already had in the house did not contain milk or eggs)

7)pop-tarts-no milk proteins in them

dry cereals-no milk proteins in them

9)meats that are not dipped in egg or milk and fried

10) pinto beans, black eyed peas, lima beans, northern beans, corn, peas, green beans, carrots brocoli, cauliflower basically any form of vegetable as long as it is not cooked in butter or some form of milk product (ie.. cheese sauce)

11) fresh fruit and most canned fruit (I really haven't checked fruit labels all that well)

12)  any kind of meat stock/boullon cubes

13)  Jello

14)jelly

15) noodles as long as they contain no egg or milk

16)  We can eat ANYTHING that does not contain milk or egg or that was not prepared using milk or egg ie. butter/margarine/cheese/mayonaise.

I'm sure there are more but  thats all I can thing of right now.  It's really not as hard as I first thought.  Meals now take a lil more preperation and time.  I have to really be careful not to cross contaminate foods.  We are reading labels on everything.  It's really not as bad as it sounds.  this is a comman  problem across the United States.  Approximately 70% of the US  populatin has this allergy and almost 99% of them outgrow it.  Therefore, I am praying for a miracle.  If that does not happen, I will praise God for the small blessing of still having my daughter and we will move on.  Now thats not to say I won't be paranoid and over protective in certain areas of her life.. such as  who she stays with and what she eats.. but thats my job as her mom.  Everyone who comes in contact with  my child will be made aware of this allergy and will know where her medications are  and will at least be aware of how to use the Epipen Jr.

I went to day and talked with the nutritionist. She really helped give me some ideas.  I have almost been starving myself all week simply because I wasn't sure how to cook the foods  I wanted to eat. As I said earlier  I am having to relearn to cook.  I have been cooking since at least age 10 or 11.  I had kind of gotten set in my ways  simply because I had found things that fit into our food budget so I used them.  Now it's not really going to be much different.  I am actually not going to be wasting some things that I was either throwing away or giving to the dog simply because I didn't know how to put it too good use.

I found out today.. that I can use chicken, beef, or turkey stock to flavor  foods.  Foods like potatoes, veggies, rice, beans.    The stuff I had been throwing down the sink or out to the dog  will actually  help me save on my grocery bill and also keep my lil girl safe.  I can also use  fresh seasonings as well as  pressed, packaged seasonings in our food. Things like garlic, onion, bell peppers, parsley, thyme, oregano,  Honestly some of them are things I am already using  I just never though to use in the veggies or potatoes, etc.   The meat stock can be frozen or canned and put away for further use.  My mom in law actually gave me a great Idea I had not even though about.  She suggested using an ice tray to freeze the broth and once frozen place in a zippered bag in the freezer. Then I can use as needed.  Wow,  Mom if your reading this. Thanks!!  Love ya!!

As the nutritionist  put it.. I have to think Outside of the box.  I have to make most of her food from scratch  and experiment and find out what tastes good and what works.    HMM.. I think I have a cookbook that Mrs. Dow wrote around here somewhere.  I am definately digging that thing out.  The last time I looked through it that things was full of ideas.  Some of which if I had put to use.. I might have saved myself some of the hungry days.   Thanks Mrs Dow. I never knew the cookbook mom gave me that you designed and created would come in so handy. 

There are also cook books and recipes available that are taylored to meet these sort of needs.  I simply have to put my rear in gear and look for them.     I  only wish I had a dishwasher now.. because  I HATE washing dishes.   (looks like I am going to be doing a lot of that.)  I have too keep the counters clean so we don't cross contaminate.

For those who may have seen my house and kitchen... I wont go into detail.. but this is going to make my husband very happy and it's actually going to turn out well for me.  I have been very slack with my boys in terms of not making them clean up after themselves and the like and in the end all it has really done is made twice as much work and frustration for me.  When BB was born I promised God I would do my best to teach and train her to be the Virtuos Woman talked about in Proverbs.  Well in order for me to teach her God has to teach me.  I looks like he is already starting.

I am very guickly becoming a firm believer that God has a sense of humor.  For most of my married life  I have let things slide.. simply because  I could.   It really didn't bother me. Now though, God has blessed me with this child who has these needs.  It is UP TO ME to make sure she is safe.  I can't depend on others to do that for me.  I am blessed to have such a happy, healthy family.  I have placed them all in God's hands.  It is up to him to lead me and guide me to raise them for his honor and glory.  I am guickly finding ways that he is teaching me in all of this.  I know that I am not by any means the best Christian, nor am I the best mother or wife or daughter or sister or friend,  but I am a blood bought, born again child of the King.  I have been saved, sanctified and set apart for God's glory.   God has a plan for my life.  I am looking at all of this as a way of God preparing me for better things in the future.  Who Knows?? Only God.  For now  I am content to  wait, listen and learn. 

Since I have been slack, I need to go back to last Wednesday and catch everyone up.    For those of you who read my last post, probably noticed list #5  about another baby.  Well as of last Wednesday that  baby has been confirmed and is actually already on the way.  I am 2 months into  my 4th pregnancy and other than the usual morning sickness so far all is going well.  I find myself  extremely tired with this baby, way more than with the other 3, but I guess considering I am still nursing my  baby girl  that is too be expected.

Now on to said baby girl,   Some of you may have read the post My Horrible, Scary, Beat, Myself Up cause I'm a Bad Mommy day.    Well if you have you already know we suspect my BB of having milk and egg allergies.  Friday August 10  I took her to see an allergy Dr.  I was scared and nervous and  anxious not really knowing what they were going to put my baby through.  (Now I know as a mom of 3 I shouldn't have been but each child is different.)  As it turned out it really was not all that bad.  She asked me a lot of questions  (usual with a dr.  they need a history)   Then began to explain to me the test's they were going to do.  The test is called a skin prick,  and simply means they take  the suspected substance which has been turned into a liguid form and press it onto the back with this pronge like device.  It doesn't hurt but reacts  by swelling, becoming red, and itchy.  Since egg was our primary  suspect  this test was done seperately with a small device similar to the pronged one but  single.  As soon as the milk was placed on her back, she began to scratch in the front. She clawed and clawed at her neck  and chest.    Since the spot for the egg was not  bumping up or turning red I though we were safe.  But  then.. the nurse and the dr come in and tell me that the egg did not take and we need to try it again.  I consent too this and we do the egg again.  Bless her poor lil heart !  As soon as the egg touched her body  she began to bump up and itch and sneeze and cough.  She was miserable.  AFter the 15 mins the nurse comes back in  and immediately goes back out and gets the dr.  The dr comes in and tells the nurse to get some benadryl and an epipen.    She then gives  BB the meds and tells me we aren't going anywhere for a while.  (now chopper and the boys are in the waiting room, we've been here a lil over and hr at this point so I know he was getting worried and agravated.  Have you ever sat in a waiting room with 2 preschoolers??  It's NOT fun) 

So  then the nurse comes back in with some information for me and tells me that  she is definately allergic to milk and eggs and that we need to be really careful.  She also told me the dr was giving BB an epipen and that  I was to KEEP it with BB at all times.  In addition to the epipen jr.  she is too have benadryl with her at all times as well. She is NOT to go anywhere without this medicine. She then proceeds to explain the process of the epipen if I ever need to use it and gives me a plan of action sheet, explaining the dosage of the benadryl, waiting time and symptoms before using Epipen Jr and such.  The information is really useful.  I have placed it and the medication in a zippered bag that goes everywhere with us.    That way if someone else has her they know what to do and how to use the pen.   She also told me that since I am still nursing I cannot eat any of these things as well.   (We can't wean her until we know What she can have!)

Finally the nurse tells me we are going to be kept there until the hives and swelling have gone down and that the Benadryl will probably make her sleepy.    Which was indeed happening and tripple the normal  because it was her nap time anyway.   Once the nurse left the room BB did indeed fall asleep and I had time to think.  (Bad Idea!!)  Once I began thinking, I realized I HAD been making her sick.   I hadn't restricted my diet.  I was drinking milk on a daily basis,  eating eggs and cheese and using egg and milk products.  Perhaps  it was the hormones from the current pregnancy  I do not know, but by the time the dr came back in to talk to me I was pretty much a basket case. I was crying and so upset because I had been making her sick when all along I thought I was doing what was best for her by nursing. 

I still believe (even though others have told me not so) that I did WHAT WAS BEST for my child.  She is a healthy normal 11 1/2 month old.  (Funny how those others are also the ones that fussed at me for giving her eggs/milk to start with)  If I hadn't then we would not have found this until later when the allergy could have been so serious it could have potentially killed or harmed her for life before  I could have gotten medical treatment.  AMAZING How God works all things for his Good!! God took my errer as a parent and turned it into good  for the health and well being of this (his) precious child.   (and now I'm gonna cry while I type thinking of God's precious blessings too me.) 

The dr conforted me and told me that it was not my fault and that I had done what was best for her by finding out now instead of a year or so later on down the road.  This was indeed an allergy and eventually it would have happened anyway. She then told me  they were going to send her for some blood work and where too take her.  She explained some of the things too me  and gave me a website too look up  for more help.  She also told me they had set me up an appointment with a nutritionist  (which we talk more about later as that has already happened).

Finally after about 2 and half hours or so, they were through torturing my lil girl, who by this time was sound asleep in my arms.    I was free to leave and collect my hooligans from the waiting room,  (who were actually outside playing in the grass with Daddy.)  They will contact me when the blood work comes back and we will determine the next step in her treatment but for now I was too continue breastfeeding and watching my diet and hers and reading labels on everything.

OK  for those of you who don't have too do this.  There are a lot of products containing milk and eggs.  More than    I realized.  I am daily finding more things she cannot have nor eat and I cannot use.  Below is a short list of things.  I'm sure it will continue to grow.

*butter*margerine*pudding*peanut butter* any form of tree nuts*

*pancakes*biscuits*goldfish*cheetos*doritos*cookies with creamfilled center*

*mashed potatoes*chocolate*cake*doughnuts*pastry's*some breads* fried chicken*

*macoroni & cheese*Hamburger helpers* Tuna helpers*Chicken Helpers*canned spaghetti*

*pizza*Lasagna*Ice Cream* cheese* 

This is just a few I have found so far.  There are more I haven't labeled.   Now I know why certain foods made her turn her nose and refuse to eat them.  I thought this was just her being a typical baby.  In actuality these were things that were making her sick.  She hardly ever threw up after eating them.  Her excema would get worse.  I never thought much about that though.  Now I know that is a sure sign of allergies.   Her Dr's (while I still love and recommend them) were treating the excema but not treating the problem simply because  most children outgrow it. 

I am happy to be doing what is best for my baby girl but I do worry the new baby is not getting what it needs. I am taking extra precautions to make sure I take my vitamins as well as an iron and calcium suppliment.    In all honesty though... I will be so glad to get this child weaned and go back to eating cheese and crackers, pb&J's and eggs... but most of all ICE CREAM!!!  For me ice cream settles the nausea better than saltine crackers and sprite ever can.  It is also good for heartburn.  In the meantime though,  I am trying to relearn how too cook foods I have been cooking for years.  I have always used butter for flavoring but now I cannot.

Oh Dear..  I have been tagged twice...  now apparently  I'm supposed to list 5 things most people don't know about me  then tag 5 more people.  Okay the list I can do.. the tagging.  I'm not so sure about.  I'm too new to this.  I only have a few  blogs  I read. 2 of those tagged me.

1)  Hmmm..   I hate washing dishes and put it off as long as possible.

2)  I am  thinking of persuing an Elementery Education Degree.

3)  Chopper and I would love to move out West, posibly Wyoming.  It's Beautiful out there.

4) I love working with children of all ages.  Singing, reading stories, telling stories, making crafts.  They are so full of life and questions.  Makes me think.

5)   I would like to have at least one more child.. hopefully another girl.

Now to tag...  hmm.

1) Mary

2) ?

3) ?

4)?

5)?

Okay so I guess I am the weak link.  I will tag more friends as I add them.  Sorry girls!!!

After reading the comment's posted after my last blog.  I was reminded of  a few things we did as kids.   Tata's comment on Gender roles reminded me of the things my lil bro and  I did in play once upon a time.

I am the oldest of 3 children.  My bro was born when I was 2 yrs old.  Mom made the rule that we either played together or not at all.. cause we were the only playmates the other one had.  We grew up  very close.  We did a lot of things together.   We had too cause we were the only kids  and we were Missionary kids.  We traveled a lot.   (My sis wasn't born until I was 11 and bro was 9).  

Well,   of course we had the typical  girl/boy toys.  I had Barbies and baby dolls and  He had GI Joes and Cars.  (He still has most of the cars.. their at moms for my boys.  and I still have most of the barbies.. that survived.. for my lil girl.)     At one point in our lives we lived in Long Island, Bahamas.  We lived their for 20 months. During that time, We ranged in age.  He was 5 when we went their and almost 7 when we left.  I was 7 when we went and 9 or 10 when we left.  (not sure exactly)  Anyway,  We  came up with this great plan.  (or rather I did.. he kind of drug his feet.)   I decided that  his GI Joes needed to marry my Barbies.   (I didn't have any boy barbies at the time.)   Now  this was a very funny site. For most of you.. you know that  Barbies are tall and the GI's are rather short.     Most of the GI's  barely raeched the hips on the Barbies.    But we spent countless hours  playing together.   Marrying those Barbies and GI Joe's and playing house.   We didn't have a doll house so we pretended.   Oh  What fun we had. 

Now my bro is going to prolly want to strangle me when/If he reads this...   But yea  I totally agree with Tata.  My girl is just as rumble tumble as my boys.  She is climbing already. she climbed onto the couch the other night.   I looked up from the pc and she is looking at me over the back of the couch grinning like the cat who swallowed the cannary.    If she is not buckled into her high chair or car seat she is standing up looking over the back.. bebopping.

If  it had been my choice I probably would have allowed Sammy to  have the pink pencil bag.  (see previous post)    I  think  there is nothing wrong with boys liking Pink.    After all God made the color..  Why can't we all like them.. male or female.    Sammy's favorite colors are  green and purple.  He went to VBS last week and  they made a lot of crafts and papers so the teachers sent everything home in tote bags for the kids.    You know what.. Sammy's was purple!!!  

I have various  items my children have painted for me and  guite a few of them are purple and green.  I love each and every one of them.   Simply because my boys painted them with love and  were so excited to show them off and give them too me.    My corner shelf is guickly becoming a shelf full of hand painted childrens   projects.  My teddy bear collection has been relegated to one small shelf  to make room for all the other things.   But  I love them all.  

Well,  this weekend we had to go buy school supplies.  Who knew they would be so expensive?  I was floored at the price for one pair of boys jeans;  Faded Glory on top of that.  I did manage to find shirts on sale for $5.00.  Thankfully  the children did not need very many things as far as shoes and clothes go.   The actuall school supplies really were not all that expensive.   I only had top purchase one backpack due to finding one earlier this summer at a consignment shop brand new.  Thomas the Tank is Seanie boy's favorite  and Sammy of course wanted Optimus Prime.  The problem came when it was time to purchase beach towels.  (our schools use those instead of blankets at nap time.)  The boys wanted their towels to match their backpacks.  Seanies was no problem.  (actually that's how I got out of buying him a new bag...  He had wanted superheroes... but when we found the Thomas towels  all worked out)  Sammy's was a lot harder.  We ended up not being able to match  his towels and backpack.     It was a lil harder too get him to settle on the pencil bag... my son wanted a PINK pencil bag... of course his daddy said NO!!!!   We argued with him for at least 5 minutes. He finally settled on a blue one to match his book bag.   He had started out wanting the Diego back pack which was cheaper and came with a pencil bag... but on the actual day of buying school supplies he changed his mind and wanted Optimus Prime... which came with a wallet instead.  

It is so hard to believe that within 2 weeks my oldest will be starting kindergarden. Where  Oh where has the time gone??  It seems like yesterday I was holding him in my arms as a tiny baby.   Now he is so big he will no longer fit in my arms very well.  He still likes to sit on my lap and read a story but thats about it. Otherwise he is Mr. Independant.  Even BB  has gotten to be lil Miss Independant.   She wants to sit on my lap only while nursing and even then she thinks she is supposed to stand up.. (I have no clue how to explain that one.)  Seanie still likes to cuddle at times  but he does it when he is trying to push his sister out or is jealous of his sister.

I have decided that when it comes to buy clothing for them I am going to Thrift Store shop.  When a pair of boys jeans cost the same thing as a pair of jeans for a Man... What on earth are we coming too?  No wonder ppl have such a hard time making ends meet.  I have been blessed up to this point with  a lot of hand me down clothes.. which I have no qualms of accepting and using.  I then in turn try to find someone else who can use them.  It's often easier with t-shirts to find  a new owner.. jeans are often not so lucky.  They generaly end up with holes in the knees or in the seat. Why are boys so rough on their clothes?  I think it's in their genes.  They have to be  rough. They are happiest when they are climbing some piece of furniture or digging in the dirt.

Either way.. I love being a mom and am not sure what I am going to do when my boys leave for school.  I think it will be good for them socially and they have to go to school but it's going to be hard for me to let them go.  I will try to put some pictures of them on here soon.  

Well, it's been a few days since we had our allergy scare.  The baby has since been to her family dr.  Her Dr. told me I had done the right thing by taking her to the dr.  She deffinitely had a reaction to something.  We are now  going to an allergy dr to  do some skin tests.  They called me today and that has been set up for August 21.   I'm worried and a lil scared.

The Dr told me not to give her anything with eggs, milk, or peanuts (including things cooked in peanut oil).  Now I am reading ingredients and labels.  Almost afraid to give her anything.  She is growing like a lil weed and wants to eat all the time. She has kind of slacked off on her nursing. She wants to eat and eat and eat and eat.  She would rather have a sippy cup with juice and water or just water instead of nursing.  I am kind of worrying she isn't getting what she needs as far as  milk goes.

She is 11 months old as of today.  It is so hard to believe that in a month she will be a yr old.  Where has the time gone?   She is becoming guite the lil cutie and babbling all the time. She smiles, flirts and coos at everyone.  She is saying some words,  the basics.  Her most favorites are Da-da, ma-ma, baba (bubba) and AHHHHHHHH.  She is constantly babling. She is chasing her bro's all over the house crawling. She loves to get right down where they are and take their toys, which of course gets a NO NO BB!!  followed by  MOMMY!!! 

She is climbing and  almost gave me a heart attack the other day when she climbed on top of the cooler I was using to barricade her in the living room and holding onto the microwave cart was bebopping on the cooler.   She was having a good time but I almost fell  trying to get too her to get her down before she fell.   Her latest  joy has been crawling into our bathroom, where we have a garden tub, and crawling up onto the step and banging on the side of the tub hollering  AHHH  AHHHH AHHH.  which sounds like the A sound in the word Bath.  LOL she's a lil stinker.    Nothing makes her happier than for me to take her in their to give her a bath. She loves the water.

Her bro's  are  typical boys,  adoring one minute and  beating her on the head with a toy in the next.  I have my hands full and my house is in constant chaos from it  but I love it.  I am enjoying the last few weeks of having my children at home with me.  On August 14 my oldest son starts kindergarden and on August 26 my baby boy starts pre-school.  It is so hard for me too think about the fact that they are growing up on me.  I know that's what happen's.. just hate the thought that in a few yrs they will be  invovled in sports,  then interested in girls, then driving, then graduation followed by college  ( I hope)  then I officially have to let my boys go and grow up. 

UGHH!! what a scary thought!!!  How do I stop them????????

Ok, we've been busy this weekend.   Saturday we had a wedding and  so I haven't been on in a few days. With all that's been going on   I've not been sleeping well, and  yesterday it showed.

Sunday started out like any normal  Sunday morning, except we overslept. I forgot to set the alarm clock and it was  after 8:00 a.m. when we woke up.  Sunday School starts at 10:00 a.m. We drive 20 minutes to church so  the day started off on a bad note.  Cause even though I woke up I fell back asleep.

Finally woke up around 9:00 and got up.  The kids woke up and I cooked Eggs and heated up some popcorn chicken left over from Saturday for them to eat.  BB was in her High chair fussing so we gave her some fruit puffs and without thinking  I gave her some of the scrambled eggs.  (For those of you who aren't parents, Thats a NO NO for baby's less than a year old. She's 11 months)

Well,  She was eating them just fine so I got a guick shower while Chopper supervised breakfast.   When I was out he took his.  While that was going on she was sitting their playing wit her bro's.  I went to get her to get her dressed after getting the boys ready. 

I picked her up and  took her to our bedroom.   Went to lay her on my bed and  thats when we noticed  the redness, swelling and blisters on her face.  I took of her pj's and it was going down her neck.   At first  I didn't think it was that bad.  She's broke out before.  Then she started crying, sneezing, and coughing.  Chopper looked at me and said "take her to the ER!!!"

O.K. for those of you who don't know.  I literally live in the woods.  It's  30 minutes to the nearest hospital worth going too.  I could have called the rescue Squad but living in a rural area it could take as much as 30 mins before anyone can even get to the fire station, let alone my house.  (we live less than 3 miles from one) 

Anyway,  I grabbed my keys, wallet, cell phone and diaper bag and ran out the door.  Leaving Chopper and the boys at home.  I put her in her carseat (which she hates, she wants to see the front).  I hit the main road, hit the flashers and hit the gas.   Praying the whole way,  (I just got a ticket on that same road. less than a month ago.)    I did pass a cop but he never turned around.  

We had went about half way  and she stopped crying, whimpering everything.   I can't see her in her seat,  I can't hear her.   I'm afraid to pull over  to check cause it will take more time.    By this time  I am  crying and panicking.   (After all, it is my fault  I knew not to give her eggs.  On top of that.  There was milk in the eggs.  She has never drank milk. She's been nursed from day one.  Any kind of formula makes her vomit.)

I see my cell phone and pick it up and dial  911.  (Crazy I know.)  I get a local sherriffs station.  I'm about 10 mins away from the hospital.  I tell the dispatcher. Where I am.  What's going on and ask him to alert the ER  I'm coming.    He tells me to pull over and check her. Their sending an ambulance out to me.   I told him OK.  I pulled over and get out.  Open her door and she's looking at me  but still red, swollen, and  scratching.  She is at leat breathing though.

I am still on the phone with the Sheriffs office.  I'm trying to tell him where I am on the road.  It's a long road.   I can hear sirens and   start to feel some relief, thinking ok  someone is coming who knows what they are doing.   UGH, They pass me.  WAY pass me.  They didn't see my RED van. 

The dispatcher tells me  they have went rather far past me.   If the baby is still conscious to go ahead and take her on to the Hospital.    He stayed on the phone and  I kept him updated as too where I was.    He tells me to pull to the ambulance bay and someone will come out and take her from me.  We did and I had to give them my baby and  then go park the van.  But at least she was in  medical personel hands.     I was  a little relieved but still scared and kicking myself.

I finally get in with her and she is  sitting on a bed surrounded by nurses and  stripped down to her diaper.  But she is smiling. Thats a good sign!!!!   That lasted all of about  2 secs.  As soon as she sees me, She starts crying Because they then lay her down and begin trying to put an IV in.   She's  trying to get too me and crying and I'm trying to answer guestions and comfort her and feeling relief that she is at least still breathing.  Her airway is not constricted. The   Dr. comes and checks her and tells me they are going to give her benadryl and some steroids to counteract the  reaction.   And since she has vomited  twice they are going to give her fluids. 

After they leave  she starts fussing. She want to nurse. I know thats not a good idea after vomiting but she is sleepy too so  I really have no choice.  She  nurses and calms down.  The nurse comes and gives her the meds and  as soon as she sits up. She vomits again. 

We get her cleaned up and  almost immediately she is asleep.  We ended up being their for several hours.  They sent her home with  instructions to see and allergist and to give more steroids and Benadryl.  Needless to say, BB will NOT be getting anymore eggs or  whole milk. Until we are what she is allergic too. 

I feel like a bad mom because  I knew better. The Dr's and nurses were so nice though.  No one fussed at me.  (well, we go to her dr's tomorrow, she might fuss.)   I'm just glad she is OK and God is still answering my prayers.  I'm not always the Best Christian but  I do KNOW  my God has is all under control and in his hands.

Of course there are some who would say.  Well.  Hmm.. wonder what they are doing wrong that their child gets sick.  I have to say.. perhaps   God's teaching me to trust him in the small things before I can trust him in the big things.  Of course, my childs life is a big thing,.  but if God can care for the sparrows he can care for my baby girl.